Seduction is a play in a theater named “Life”
in which illusion collide with reality.
I am not going to describe the seduction
techniques in this chapter since you may read about them in plenty of other
books on the subject. Let us talk here about what kind of thinking and outlook
will increase the probability of meeting people ready to go out with you. As
I’ve told earlier in order to make the right choice you need to have whom to
choose from. This kind of choice will come into your life if you start thinking
as a seducer, a person who looks at the world as a stage where he plays his/her
Nowadays, when the efficiency of power as a
way to affect people has significantly dropped down compared to past times
seduction became the most effective way to influence others regardless of sex
and age. Seduction is as a tool used by politicians, teachers, artists,
salesmen, businessmen, as well as many other professional people whom we
encounter regularly and quite often fall into their nets. It is a tactics,
which from the earliest times was applied only by women and which more than 5
centuries ago started to be mastered by men.
All what distinguishes the seducer from
others is seeing the world from a different perspective, the ability to take
every situation as an opportunity for seduction, the perception of any place as
an own bedroom, each person - as a player and every situation - as a set in a
game named “Seduction”.
Every time a seducer faces logical
resistance of a person he meets he treats it as a challenge, an invitation to
join the game in which his main goal is to bypass the logical brain via
affecting the emotional and instinctive brains. His favorite strategy is while
having not too serious attitude towards emotional connection in general to
demonstrate that the inner world of a person he communicates with is extremely
important and valuable for him.
People are tired of responsibility burden
that they have to bear in adult life, and deep in the soul everyone dreams of
behaving like a kid as he or she used to do in childhood. The inner child is
just waiting for the moment when he will get an opportunity to plunge into the
world of fun and adventure, which is extremely hard to reach in everyday life
while solving daily problems, working at habitual workplace, having predictable
conversations with your relatives, or monotonously spending your leisure time.
There are coals glimmering inside every human, which can easily ignite a fire
if you blow strongly at them. But this fire usually sleeps because of our own
laziness, fear of risk, fear of losing emotional security and almost total lack
of experience of creative and unconventional solutions implementation.
Seducer knows this thing and therefore sees
the world as a theater where every man is an actor. He knows that most people
are tired of the restrictions imposed by their social roles and is always ready
to offer them creativity that goes beyond traditional bounds. For him seduction
is a play in a theater named "Life" where illusion and reality
collide. Such images are often found in history, in literature, in the cinema.
Cleopatra, Napoleon, Casanova, Don Juan, James Bond, John Kennedy, Marilyn
Monroe, Gregory Pechorin, Mata Hari etc. This list of real and fictional
characters can go on and on. Such a large variety of images creates a great
variety of seducer’s models in which we can chose the most suitable elements
and practice and adopt them in everyday life. Cinematic images of seduction we
see in movies such as, for example, The Witches of Eastwick, Cruel Intentions,
Wild Orchid, or Intolerable Cruelty are valuable assets for creating
self-image, even for those people who are not notable for their imagination.
What people lack in life? Clearly it is not
the reality. They need an illusion, a fantasy, a game. When a seducer appears
in their lives something unreal comes with his clothes, his words, his
occupation, and even with the places where he invites them. Sincerity and
hypocrisy are surprisingly naturally combined into a single image, giving it an
aura of mystery. His words of love spoken through a smile, his seriousness,
alternating with childishness, his syndicate of masculinity and femininity
foment an unstoppable desire to reveal his secret.
Everyone has a great potential to seduce
others. Unlike most of the people the seducers know about it. Of course,
makings and appearance are important but the greatest success in this field is
achieved by those who is confident in his/her value and can sell
himself/herself very high, who investigated what people find attractive and
trains these qualities, who is able to go beyond the ordinary behavior and
thinking for the sake of becoming a more valuable figure in the world of social
The overall success of a seducer is
determined by such a versatile term as charisma. Charismatic person has a
fairly clear system of values and he knows how to set goals and build plans to
achieve results. He is a superb actor and a skilful orator. He is distinguished
by his passion and persistence in any business he starts. This man or woman is
open to communicate with all types of people. Talented seducers attach
importance to non-verbal communication and they are constantly practicing
flirtation skills. They are full of the spirit of adventure. They are not
ashamed of revealing that side of themselves, which many would call childish or
too ingenuous. A seducer is obsessed with his desire to be associated with a
mystery, a riddle and a peculiarity. Such people demonstrate an amazing balance
between predictability and spontaneous behavior. And the most important thing
is that they spend much time and energy to create a temptation many times
stronger than everything happening in everyday routine.
People are extremely self-centered
creatures. They spend much more time thinking of what they want than of the
other people’s wishes. Seducers act differently since they try to see the world
through the eyes of the other person, to find common language, to understand
and share the values of a person they seduce, to show him/her what he/she
really needs, to demonstrate their similarity with him/her and their ability to
fulfill the lack of emotions, which forms in the tempo of life.
A seducer is an excellent company and a
great listener. He knows that careful listening can bring much more trust than
a great speech.
Well, seduction is not the result of a
magic wand wave since it is a gradual process with the maximum effect being
achieved when affecting all three brains: logical, emotional and instinctive.
At our ARDOR trainings we often introduce to the participants the so-called
"ADI rule", which states that when you contact a new person you like
you always need to ask yourself the following question:" What can I do to
get his/her ATTENTION, DESIRE and IMAGINATION?”. Please read the question once
again. If you figure out the answer to this one, you have everything you need
in order to attract and seduce a person you like. If he or she is not so
interested in talking to you then you need to behave in unusual way, say
something intriguing, do something surprising in order to get his/her
attention. On the one hand this seems risky, but on the other hand it's hard to
risk what you do not possess, isn’t it?
I am not going to force you to drop your
habitual way of life by reading this chapter and to go on seducing everyone
around since it may be even harmful for you. The only thing I want is just to
draw your attention at the opening opportunities, at how you can slightly
change the way of thinking as well as your sexual image and attractiveness.